NBD's Memory Lane: The Legend of Funyons

This will be the first of, hopefully, many Memory Lane posts. These posts cover great moments, stories, accidents, parties, etc that will make a specific group of people laugh really hard...and hopefully will get a chuckle from the rest of the readers. This first Memory Lane is about an insignificant night that really embodied somebody's reputation in a few seconds...Enter: The Legend of Funyons.

Funyons was my roommate during my Junior year in college. I didn't really know him before I moved in with him, but we had a lot of mutual friends and I needed a place to get off campus. So, the first month living together, the reputation of Funyons was this: He tended to like 'bigger' gals. I didn't know too much about him, but that was the word around our circle of friends. I just didn't understand where the rumor came from after hanging out with him the first month of living together.

One Friday night, I was sitting in my shitty living room with my two other roommates. Funyons was passed out in his room after disappearing for three days on one of his normal binges. All the parties were over and the bars were closing, so it was that hazy time when everyone is in a zombie mode right before passing out drunk.

As we were zoned out staring at the TV, there was a loud knock at our door. I opened it up to see three very, very large gals. As I bent my neck upward to greet them, I had no idea what they wanted or why they were here. When I asked what they wanted, they responded, "Does Funyons live here?" Without saying anything, I just pointed toward his door, and watched the three behemoths walk single-file into his room and lock the door.

Ummmm.....

I sat back down and looked at my other roommates and we just had huge smiles on our faces. This was the first of many similar nights living with Funyons, but this one was special. It was as if he put flyers up around town, or if they didn't get to his room before 3a.m., they'd turn into pumpkins or something.

The legend of Funyons was alive and well, and I never questioned his reputation as a chubby-chaser again.

And, if any pretty ladies want to set up an appointment...leave a comment!

- Diddy